Apr
25
2018

Relationships: Why Do Some Breakups Hurt Men More Than Women?

In recent studies, men have been shown to suffer more than women when a relationship comes to an end. And while some people would not have been surprised to hear this, for others, it was unexpected and even dismissed.

Even though men have emotions just like women, this doesn’t always appear to be the case and they are often portrayed as having an inability to show emotions by women and the media. Men are often stoic and the emotions that they do express are often limited to a few emotions, such as: anger and frustration.

So what these studies have done is created awareness around the fact that although men don’t always show their emotions, it doesn’t mean that they don’t have them. And the reasons they don’t show them is partly due to the pressures that men face and what it generally means to be a man.

Roles

Times are changing and while a man has been seen as the provider for so long, this is a role that they are not always expected to play in today’s world. For when they played this role, they had to be seen as strong and unbreakable; as being immune to pain and to give of the impression that nothing ever affected them.

And as a man was expected to be this way, a woman had to play the role of being passive and weak. But, women have gradually been realising their power and the need for a provider is no longer as important as it used to be; simply because the chances are often there for women to provide for themselves.

Change

But while changes have been taking place, in regards to what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman, the pressure to conform to the old roles is still there for people. For if ones identity is based on playing a certain role and this causes them to feel empowered for instance, there is naturally going to be resistance when it comes to change.

Even if these roles are dysfunctional and unhealthy, it doesn’t mean that one is simply going to let them go; especially if what they will have to let go of is seen being less than what they will end up with.

Labelled

And if a man was to show his emotions and not just the ones that are seen as acceptable, but their full range of emotions, there is going to be the chance that he will be labelled. This label is unlikely to be one that causes him to feel empowered.

What it could do is cause him to feel emasculated and that he will no longer be accepted or respected by others. And this will be seen as something that that could isolate him from other men and women.

Socially Acceptable

So it could be said that until men are seen as having emotions and that it’s acceptable for them to have them, there are going to be a lot of men who will continue suffer in silence. Just as there are women who feel the pressure to be passive and that they have to deny their personal power.

Acceptable

What is acceptable is for women to show their emotions and for men to repress them. This is generally what is classed as normal and yet just because something is normal, it doesn’t mean it is healthy.

And as a result of this, it is only natural that some women will handle breaks up differently to how some men do. Women can feel as though it’s okay for them to embrace their emotions, whereas men can come to the conclusion that they have to deny them and to pretend they don’t exist.

Consequences

So when one person feels comfortable with something, they are going to behave differently to someone who doesn’t feel the same. Women, through feeling comfortable with their emotions, usually have friends and family who they can open up to. Through them embracing their emotions, it can lead to their feelings being released instead of trapped in their body.

And as they can do this, they don’t have the same need to deny how they feel and to channel their feelings into something destructive. To see a woman upset is generally not going to have the same affect on people as it would if a man was upset.

Alternatively

As men don’t always feel comfortable with having emotions, there is less chance that they will have friends who they can open up to and they might not even reveal how they feel to their family. And as a man doesn’t embrace them, they can end up being trapped in their body.

So when they are not faced and the support is not there, their emotions can end up being repressed and channelled into things that are destructive. These could lead them to taking drugs, drinking alcohol or fighting, as a way to numb their pain.

Emotional Build Up

And if a woman has always felt comfortable with expressing her emotions, then she is unlikely to have an emotional build up. So when a relationships ends, there won’t be any emotional pain from the past to increase her present pain.

However, when it comes to a man who has repressed his emotions for most of his life; their present pain could end up being intensified through having repressed emotions triggered. Emotional pain from the break up and from many years of repression, could end up being overwhelming.

Generalisations

To say that all women are comfortable with their emotions and all men are not would be inaccurate. And yet women are expected to be in touch with how they feel and men are not.

Men not only have the right to express how they feel, they also need to. If a man wants to be emotionally healthy, then it is imperative that they change how they view their emotions and how they deal with them.

Awareness

This is why the assistance of a therapist, healer a coach can be so important. Through another’s assistance, one can gradually form a different relationship with their emotions. If a man is suffering emotionally, reaching out for support is the healthiest thing to do.

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Apr
24
2018

2014 Moschino Collection receives great feedback from fashion critics and fans

Designer Jeremy Scott made his runway debut at the 2014 Fall/Winter Fashion Show in Milan, Italy in February 20. In order to pay homage to Franco Moschino in the fashion house that he built, the designer from Missouri went all- out.

There were references to food companies like McDonald’s and Budweiser, food couture (yes, there were candy-bar-wrapper, gummy-bear and popcorn-bag dresses) and there were also references to Rue Cambon (and Chanel), that could be easily pin-pointed as models strutted down the runway in quilted leather jackets and embellished in gold chains.

Massimo Ferretti, chairman of Moschino’s parent company, Aeffe SpA, has said the designer change was necessary.

“Every now and again, fashion needs to be renovated and shaken,” said Ferretti. “Just as Franco did in the eighties.”

What many fashion bloggers anticipated to be a very controversial assortment turned out to be an overall accepted and even liked collection. In fact, the lateness of celebrity Katy Perry, who held up the show for an hour, made the crowd more unpleased than the quirkiness of the collection did. (It went from boos to cheers in a short period of time.)

Refinery29, Vogue, Style.com, and Glam had no complaints. Woman’s Wear Daily only had one complaint – and that was only because of Scott waiting on Perry and leaving fashion mavens waiting for the show to begin.

“Today’s Moschino presentation was a crowd-pleaser. Katy Perry and her friends in the front row were eating it up,” Tim Banks of Style.com said. “Scott’s embrace of consumer culture in the name of Moschino was bright, brash, and ingenious.”

“The crowd certainly lapped it up,” Women’s Wear Daily acknowledged that happy crowd. “From the SpongeBob SquarePants sweaters and leather goods to Scott’s take on slogan chic: a sleek mink coat with ‘Fur Real’ in intarsia and a white leather suit with black splotches reading ‘Cash Cow.’”

Commenters on WWD article also seemed to think that the collection was successful.

“Kudos to Mr. Scott,” commented WWD site visitor Bacchus. “Never did like his work but this seems a fine fit and with the house’s execution, may just be a match made in heaven…”

Facebook users all around loved Scott’s bravery and wit.

“Some much needed wit and humor injected back into fashion again! ….Everything lately has gotten so pretentious and is just a pose that’s trying too hard to be ‘cool’,” Facebook user Eddi Frantz commented. “It was all crumbling under the weight of its own seriousness. Fashion needs to smile a bit more. It’s been a long time.”

Some users didn’t have lengthy, in-depth things to say about it, but still showed their adoration for his work.

“Impossible not to love!” Facebook user Marina Colerato said.

“Nowhere could the appearance of a McDonald’s reference seem so out of context and therefore appear so strong, than in a country that fetishizes its local cuisine, and where fast food has still largely to infiltrate,” Kerry Olson at Vogue wrote. Despite the wackiness of the collection, she praised Scott’s decision to dedicate pieces to conformity. “Smartly, though there was a dedication to some form of conformity too, seen in the label’s ladylike silhouettes; mainly pencil skirts, fitted jackets, and evening coats.”

The biggest downfall of the Moschino show was not the collection itself, but the appearance of Katy Perry (and the fact that she was an hour late). Otherwise, Scott’s collection received good feedback from fashion critics and fans.

“Amazing work! A pure presentation/mirror of our ironic time. Which is what fashion is all about. I was left really high by how intricate and intelligent the collection is. The mixing of the different codes is sooo crazy!!” Facebook user Maria Jaber praised. “You brought many of us faith that you could still play and absorb like a child, and then execute like a master. Chapeau bas! And thank you, a real big thank you Jeremy Scott.”

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Apr
24
2018

Anxiety: Can Trapped Emotions Cause Anxiety?

While anxiety is just one of many emotions that one can experience throughout their life and without too many problems arising, it can also be something that ends up being completely out of control. It is then not just another emotion that one can experience; it is something that can end up defining ones whole life.

Fear for example, is something that can help or hinder one’s life. If fear was removed from someone and they didn’t have the ability to feel it, it would be dangerous. They would end up doing things that are far from safe and it probably wouldn’t be long until their life would come to an end.

When fear is in its rightful place and not out of control, it will allow one to survive. To instinctively know if something is safe or not is vital for ones survival and not something that should be resisted.

And yet if one was in a constant state of fear, their life is not going to be too pleasant either. To be in this position could cause one to be paralysed with fear and their whole life would then come to a standstill. Life would not be something that one embraces and therefore enjoys; it would be something they do their best to avoid.

Out Of Control

So emotions are not negative per se, but they can end up limiting ones quality of life, if they end up being out of control. If one is being controlled by their emotions and not experiencing any kind of self control, then there will be problems.

For one to be in a place of constant happiness and joy is not likely to be seen as ‘negative’ at first glance. However, to be this way all the time could cause one to overlook parts of their life and to even deny certain problems that arise in their life.

Today’s Problems

This would not be healthy and yet there are probably more people in the world today that are stuck when it comes to seeing life in a ‘negative’ way, than people who are stuck when it comes to seeing life in a ‘positive’ way.

And this is surely why fear and anxiety is something that is high on the list of what are described as being mental and emotional problems. And not people who suffer from being overly happy or joyful for instance.

Different Areas

Anxiety is something that one can experience more or less all of the time or it can be something that only appears in certain situations. And even when there is nothing going on externally and one is an environment that is reasonably safe for instance, it can still appear.

So this means that while there may be an external reason for its appearance, it can also appear without anyone being around and as a result of what is going on in their mind and body.

And while anxiety can be something one experiences most of the time, it can also appear: just before one has an exam, in social situations, when it comes to talking to the opposite sex and around authority figures.

Anxiety

When anxiety is experienced, one is going to find that their breathing rate increases. Panic to one degree or another will appear, as will the feeling of being overwhelmed. This is not an experience where one is going to feel a sense of control or personal power.

One’s mind is going to create all kinds of scenarios, as well as different thoughts. But these thoughts could end up being crowded out by how one feels. So the whole thing could end up being more of an emotional experience than a mental one.

One Approach

Thoughts are often said to create how one feels and based on this outlook, it would then be important for one to change how they think. Through doing this, they would be able to either lower their anxiety or stop it from appearing altogether.

And for some people this will work and that will be the end of it. But what this doesn’t look at is what is going on at a deeper level. Because even though so much attention has been placed on our thoughts when it comes to our level of mental and emotional health, inherently, we are emotional beings.

Survival

How we feel can also define how we think and out thoughts are not always in control. Anxiety is similar to anger, in that, it is there to warn someone that their survival is under threat or that it could be.

So when one is in an environment where this is the case, anxiety is doing what it needs to do and that is to keep one alive. However, when ones survival is not under threat and they still feel anxious, it is clear that something else is going on.

Trapped Emotions

The body can carry trapped emotions and this can be due to one experiencing some kind of trauma. And as the trauma was never processed, it has stayed in their body.

This could have been in their adult life or through what happened during their childhood years. It doesn’t have to be something that was extremely traumatising, as it could relate to something that was fairly mild and yet gradually wore one down.

So time has passed and their mind might have even forgotten about what happened, but their body remembers and still carries the emotional pain and therefore continues to experience life in the same way. And these trapped emotions will define how one interprets their reality.

Going Deeper

Under the anxiety could be the feeling of being powerless, that one has no control and even that they are going to die, amongst others; with these feelings being held just above their stomach. For if one didn’t feel this way and felt a sense of power, there is unlikely to be the need to feel so anxious.

And these feelings can seem completely out of place based on ones current environment. But if one was to see get in touch with what happened to them in their past, these feelings could be normal and expected.

Awareness

So as these trapped emotions are released from their body, their anxiety levels are likely to change. And this can be done with the assistance of a therapist or a healer who will allow one to get in touch with their emotions and gradually release them.

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